The King of the Conch Republic, has issued the following punishment for 2 Keys residents found poaching over 6,000 Lobsters from the Sovereign Royal Waters of the Conch Republic. David Dreifort and Robert Hammer were sentenced to the following:

  1. Conch citizenships were revoked
  2. Boat, home and all assets will be seized and sold. The proceeds of the sale will be converted into 1 dollar bills and dropped from an airplane over the Keys for the good of the people.
  3. They will be tied to a pole at a public flogging at mile marker 98 and two large stone crabs shall be attached to his testicles for a period of not less than 4 hours.
  4. They will then be taken 14 miles off the cost of Islamorada where 400# of fresh chum will be placed in the shark infested waters and he will be forced to walk the plank.
  5. Family and Friends who where aware of these actions, against one of our countries greatest assets shall be shunned for the next 20 years.